Foul.

Foul.

October 22, 2019 0 By Rhetorica Running

Growing up, my mom made sure me and my sister always did the things that kids were “supposed to” at that time – we got all the advantages and opportunities that our parents could give us. We had ballet and tap lessons, piano lessons, and we had sleepovers with friends. We had books, we had pets, we had summer camp. We also had trips to the library.

I loved going to the library. There was a book in the library that was like a cross reference sort of thing – if your kid liked this book, he might like these others, and I would go to mom and ask her to check the book check the book, CHECK THE BOOK!! Tell me what to read next!

I was a rather high maintenance child.

One of the many, many books I read as a kid was called “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” I am reminded of that because I am currently in roughly the mood of Alexander by the time he reaches the end of the book:

Me right now.

For whatever reason, I am utterly foul. I dislike my job. I dislike my students. I dislike my husband, most of my family, and almost my entire life. The only individuals to survive the Foul Purge of my Distaste are Straxi and my mother (for the reasons enumerated above). I know that a good night’s sleep will cause this to pass, but that doesn’t help me in the NOW.

As is the case in so much of my life, it sort of all goes back to the Tarheel Ten Miler and my training. I’ve packed on about 10 spare pounds that I do NOT need, and would actually rather be about 20 lighter than I am right now. Less strain and wear and tear on the joints, easier to run, etc. So I’m trying to eat healthier, and I also thought I’d give intermittent fasting a try.

Intermittent fasting, you say? OBNOXIOUS HELLISH UNREASONABLE LIFE is what I call it. I’m one of those folk who get up from bed and must eat almost as soon as I’m fully upright. Mom is the same way – she eats that bowl of raisin bran with her coffee, but I’m a little more tough: I don’t eat until after at least one cup of coffee.

So my terrible mood is likely due to the fact that dinner wasn’t until fairly late last night and thus I didn’t cease eating until around 8pm. That put my breaking of the fast at roughly noon.

I did not make it.

I went to the fridge here at work and inhaled my overnight oats between classes, sitting at my desk and hoovering up blackberries and oatmeal at an unattractive speed while my students filed in to class. I glared at them, over the rim of my glass bowl, daring just one of them to comment on my manners, my food, or my attitude.

I need to go to bed asap because I’m really, really getting on my own nerves.

My mood was not improved over the course of writing this, because I discovered in looking for the image of Alexander that a movie was created from the book back in 2014 and had Steve Carell in it. This is a travesty and must be stopped. The only saving grace of this film appears to be the inclusion of a kangaroo. I had no idea that Steve Carell was so hard up.

See? I told you…FOUL. Utterly foul. Well, Scarlett, tomorrow is another day. Let’s just hope it’s not foul.